The one that got away

If I close my eyes, I can feel the ghost of your hand over mine. My heart can flutter its rusted wings, making me feel again even though I've worked so hard to make myself numb. I know now, that what's done is done. But that doesn't change the desperate need to change it. The feeling that makes you scream and cry out, beg at nothing to just turn back the time, just this once, and let me change the mistakes I was too ignorant to realise I was making.

When will someone make me feel the way you did again? It's hard enough for me to fall as it is. But you were an exception, with your perfect eyes and your crooked smile. The way you'd be so nervous around me, like I was around you. But we could never cross that line. With every brush of the backs of hands, every stolen, terrified glance, every hug that lasted just a bit too long. We knew it, but we couldn't say. And now it's everywhere, engraved in my heart, but still the words will never be spoken, because that was you then, and you are you now. You closed yourself off, just like I did. You ran away, just like I did. We broke each other. And who's to say we're really fixed?